Red Green – Mike Hammer
MIKE HAMMER is a local handyman with a past. Mike is on probation, and is trying desperately to break his old criminal habits. With Red’s help Mike is on the straight and narrow, always promising that “I don’t do that no more, Mr Green.” Mike’s life has been difficult even by the standards of most white-trash, jail-bird, drop-out, trailer-park, tattoed, morons. He’s small and scrawny, but so sweet and sincere, you can’t help but root for him. Everyone wants to help Mike be successful, but it’s hard cause he does everything wrong. And when Red points out what he did wrong, Mike loses all his self confidence, “I’m no good, I’m a loser. The judge was right. Big loser.” He’s so hard on himself, Red ends up trying to cheer him up again, “No, that’s okay Mike. The wall looks good with the hole in it.” Mike is not dangerous, there’s not a mean bone in his body. The problem is that the only thing he’s ever come by honestly is his criminal tendencies, being the product of a long line of felons, jailbirds, scam artists, and biker chicks.